Kim is great at planning things out (she had arranged a play center for the four 1-year-olds that were attending), and the rest of us sat around and chatted and watched the kids play. The kids were all within 2 months of each other, and it was astounding to see how different each one was from the others.
I was sitting with Marilyn, a cousin's wife (they had no children yet) and she said, "I can’t imagine that I'm actually enjoying this." I responded, "It's almost as mesmerizing as a campfire." We laughed and laughed, and the parents gave us ultimate-weird looks.
Went to Colette's birthday party today (she's 2 on the 25th), and watched six 2-year olds and 9 assorted parents manage chaos. A miracle of almost spills, differences in parenting, acceptance of each other, and love for the kids.
Before the party, I helped in the kitchen (chopping and peeling for the fruit salad, chopping for a vegetable salad) while Ben made the cheese and meat tray and Kim frosted the cake. Linda (Colette's other grandma) spent time with Colette, playing with her, singing songs and dancing in the middle of the kitchen, somehow not in the way, and reading to her. At one point, Colette came into the kitchen and Linda kept reading aloud (from the other room - raising her voice enough to be heard in the kitchen) till Colette wandered back out of the kitchen. At one point, I said, "How nice - a two-grandma day" and then we each talked about the memories we had of two grandmas in the room at the same time. I was the only one who had active grandparents on both sides, though they didn't spend much time together, unless we were hosting a party at our house, where they both came. Interesting how I never thought of it as a schism - never thought about it at all - but the relatives on my Dad's side didn't become part of the family the way some of my Mom's other siblings brought their in-laws into the family. Today was a great family day for me. I knew almost everyone at the party because I'd been to other parties with them, or at Ben and Kim's when they were also there. I didn't feel like an outsider/interloper/stranger at all.Purrrrrr.
November, 2002
At Stone Soup
The other night Ben, Kim, Colette and I went to a restaurant and about 7:00 the band (two guitars, a bass, and a male vocalist) came in to set up. We were conversing, chatting, Colette was talking about her imaginary friend Nono, and after a while they started to play. Swing tunes, big band tunes, great lyrics, nice mellow voice, loud enough to be easily heard, not banging and crashing, easy to speak over without yelling, but who wanted to? You could feel the thrum of the bass through the floor.
After a while, Colette climbs down from her chair, and is drawn toward them. A shy step at a time. Turning, occasionally, to smile at us, a dreamy, warm smile. She's dressed in a frilly t-shirt, with heavy sweatpants (even snapped flaps) and her new purple shoes. Leather high tops, deep purple, shiny, really, with those pants, looking from the waist down like a soldier and the waist up like a frilly little girl. Sort of a surreal outfit, and with the dreamy smile on her face - just angelic. Then she starts dancing. A few awkward steps, then a rhythmic step or two, then some large clomping right to left movements, sometimes with the music, sometimes her body couldn't do what she was aiming for. The music continued, with all of us clapping at the end of each piece. She'd clap; look joyously back at us, and then stand straight and tall, hands at her side, perfectly still, waiting for the next piece to start. The waitress continued to serve dishes, walking at a quick pace, and passing by Colette. Someone got up and moved an empty table that she was near, saying quietly, “I don't want you to hit your head”. Around 8:00, we started packing up. As we're walking toward the door, the band leader/vocalist says, with dismay, "You're leaving so early!?" Kim smiles, and says, "Bedtime." A pause... and a smile, "We're here on the first and third Thursdays in December," and after another pause "Good night, Colette. I'll remember you forever."
November, 2002
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